There are very few things in the world for which ‘MAN’kind have a convergence of …..interest…..revulsion….and dread….
Interest catching topics are cricket and girls. Even the antics of the most obscure of cricket teams – be it Timbuktu CC or Jolly Rovers would have its passionate critics. And girls….needless to say has many guys letting out their opinion as if they are connoisseurs of vintage wine (it’s another matter that we guys for all the bravado we show when we are in a ‘all guyz’ group turn into a thalai aatum bommai when with our girlfriends. For the uninitiated – refer to the lilting head movements of the Tanjore dolls). More on this later.
What piqued me so much that I am wielding my pen despite the pathetic state I’m subjecting the readers to….is the sorry state of the brotherhood when it comes to doing one thing they dread most – shopping with and for a woman – be it their wife, girlfriend, sister – the feeling of dread is the same.
Despite the urge for many of the thai kulams to take me to be a MCP, let me tell you…girls are great when it comes to patience, style and all that (after all how many times have they spent their time shopping with and for us…and taking us through its basics). It is just that a very potent combination of chromosomal disorder (for guyz) and a wide variety of apparels (for girls) makes the life of the brotherhood a tight rope walk.
The other day, I was out shopping with my sister. A bird’s eye view of the shop would’ve given you the sight of random black heads (with cropped hair) moving aimlessly, fidgeting….not knowing what to do. Change the plane to horizontal viewing…. A look at the faces of the men (accompanying the girls) shows no randomness.
There is an expression of martyrdom, helplessness, a ‘why me?’ and ‘bali ka bakra’ look written all over their face……all over my face.
Picture this…..a husband and his wife….
W – ‘how is this salwar?’
H – ‘Nice..sits pretty on you’
W – ‘and this jeans and tops?’
H – ‘wow…its great too..’
W – ‘which one shall I take?’
H – ‘(in all magnanimity) have both of them darling…’
W – ‘No..I want only one….tell me which one?’
H – ‘hmm…the jean?’
W – ‘No…I wanted the salwar’
H – ‘well….have the salwar then…(thinking the matter is closed)’
W – ‘so the jean wasn’t good?’
H – ‘(losing his cool) look….you asked for my opinion…I gave it…if you don’t like my choice…no problem at all….go ahead with yours…’
W – ‘how can you be so indifferent….blah blah blah’
The plight of the brotherhood is further aggravated by the fact that we cant comfort each other (in the shop). Doing anything other than dutifully waiting on our partner will be taken as indifference and disinterest……and what not!!!! The only solace we guys have is when we look at some other guy who gets it even worse than us.
There are exceptions no doubt….but in general this has been my observation. Maybe guys need to take a crash course in patience…making choices…and in being as good a partner as possible….Maybe girls need to accept the fact that we guys are morons when it comes to shopping.
Until then….we may lose interest in cricket…we may even become tight lipped chaste speaking guys….but the dread of shopping shall continue....such is the plight of the brotherhood