Thursday, July 19, 2007

Meri Jaan Meri Jaan Sunday ke Sunday....

It was a nice little home…we were five brothers (well I was their cousin) and two sisters….an uncle, aunt, sister in law and a kid. A very happy family with a nice comportment. But all this used to change, come Sunday morning. It used to represent a battleground…..lots of strategizing, disussing the tactical issues like how to go about doing it? When to assemble, whom to delegate responsibilities to…would be doing the rounds…for what??? Ahem…..to cook…….i used to get reminded of the Satte pe Satta brothers…if it was Sunday, it had t be murungai keerai….and palaakkai kurma….and kathrikkai varuval and murungakai sambar…..and since all of us-brothers-were decently voracious eaters…the quantum of cooking required all of us to give a helping hand to my poor aunt (a great lady-whose only worry used to be IF she could finish her cooking in time). And so – we used to down a drumstick tree…(whose life cycle of regeneration of leaves was such that we had sufficient quantity every Sunday despite our raping it stark naked of all its leaves)…and then heaping it on to the floor we got into the process of keerai aayaradhu…..doing this also won us a round of sooooperb filter coffee. As this was being done, two of us (depending on who was in mood) oiled our hands for the forthcoming job – of slitting and cutting that darned sticky jackfruit…..and our sisters would be on the job of cutting brinjals and cooking them….

Aprom enna??? Elaam samaiyalum pannittu nalla saaptutu thoonga poiduvom…..

Waking up at 4 to sweet aroma of a coffee…we used to drink sleepy eyed watching some crap in the tv. Refreshed with caffeine, I made my way to thaatha’s abode…spent the rest of the evening gossiping only to come back at 7.30 to witness the next battlefield scene – this time I am welcomed by a cleanly washed floor (whats this??? Washing the floor on Sunday???evening??? well……) then my aunt used to unload few kgs of atta on to the floor (ohh yeah..forgot to say.if its snday evening its gotto be rotis J ) why on the floor? Else she cant knead all her requirements of flour….

Those were the days…carefree cycling…carefree eating…..sleeping like an oaf….always having somebody to look after you…… a nice bhaai who used to torture me by not giving me any of his home cooked briyani ( he mistook me for an orthodox vegetarian) and I out of compulsion couldn’t disclose my carnivorous tastes to him….a great street where almost everyone knew everyone…..that made my life in karaikudi…..

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Benz Diaries – Weekend Plans……Boredom reigns…..

Mottai has gone to trichy and so had Adam (who by the way considers weekend spent in karaikudi as a sin unless it is exam time J ). That leaves thaatha and dead as the only remnants in the house that they had rented….to give them company are quarter, tc, myself, scientist. A typical day…..i have my stomach’s fill in my house (where perimma would have cooked a wonderful kathrikkai kari and murungakkai sambar)…our guys eat at their mess….i stay just a little longer in my house..doing nothing so that I can get one more round of coffee….and then I take out my benz to go to our adda (the abode of thaatha and dead)…..there depending on who is playing on the comp, the other person loads on a music list, and the rest f us play chess or read newspaper or just chit chat gossiping about all and sundry…..come 11.30 a beautiful nap…..and then wake up by 1 by which time..our guys go once again to the mess, while I go to my house…post lunch we re-join at around 3. one more round robin at the comp. after the customary sleep, at about 5 we take out our cycles and roam the town or go to hostel for further vetti paechchu…..after that we head in to the town for a early dinner at royal…have our stomach full..and then get a movie or two… to watch in the night…..

Our first movie experience – this was the first time….to me fell the responsibility of choosing the movie to be watched…and in some enthu state…decided to go for westerns….and hece we cam back with Mckenna’s gold..and Good.Bad&Ugly….ohh whatta experience it was???? At the end of the first 30 min, I was in serious danger of being drubbed by my comrades…reason??? In all enthusiasm…we loaded Mckenna’s…..we wait…to see Gregory peck..he doesn’t come…what comes instead is a song..sung by one of our own ilk….OLD TURKEY BUZZARD……..in a drawling voice….accompanied by some bugger on a horse back…..strutting across a canyon….we wait….nothing happens..he continues to strut…..that dash continues to wield his throat…..and so we waste 15 min…we are running out of patience..just when we should probably have waited a bit longer…we call it quits…and remove the cd…we now load it with the good, bad and ugly…..hmmm…post the intial casting list…we atleast get to see an actor’ face….ohh cool..so atlast some story brewing this…..but no…..he walks….goes into a room…shoots the shit outta some poor guy….and walks out…..screen change….scene change…..he struts in a horse….comes to a house…is seen by a boy who runs into his house…(maybe to tell something???) but whatever word he might have said are not for our ears…so silence reigns….he goes in…the host is eating..he sits down and also eats…still no dialogues….and then this bugger shoots him……holy Christ….

And so 30min into our movies…we are yet to see any meaningful dialogues….any story developing…but this time…we wait it out…and thankfully the GBU works out just fine….

And so the movies end by arnd 2…..i sleep in their house itself…get up at 6is…go back to my house…for the morning coffee…that was the Saturday isshhtory……Sunday’s next…..

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Heart....if there is one...shall speaketh this....

We need to have a purpose in life…..why? otherwise whats the difference between you and an animal? Did I ever say I am different?...So you have no purpose?no goal? Well I do have one….whats that? Not to have a purpose…..huh???? I mean..whats the whole point? You say there has to be a purpose…..you go behind it…you may or may not achieve….but in all probabilities you fail to enjoy the journey..keeping only the purpose in mind……rather not to have it at all……in that way at least I will enjoy each and every second of my life..not gauging myelf whether or not I am on track to achieve my ‘purpose’. Having no purpose will make you irresponsible……that shows your lack of self belief…..huh??? why do you always need a pole to lean to….? if you are purposeless you will be seen as a failure….who decides if you are a success or a failure? Well?? Run your own race da…my success or failure is dependent on whether I satisfy my expectations…not on whether I satisfy other’s expectations on me….how can you be so selfish? You need to live for others…..THAT is selfishness….you expect recognition…you are self centred….at least I have no illusions about what I want……you never think for others…I do….huh?? If I focus on being happy I shall make the world a happier place…

To that extent I am selfish…no qualms about it…that’s blasphemy….see da…there are infinite ways of connecting two points….i rest my case

Monday, July 16, 2007

AS FAST AS IT GETS….

The rate at which human mind is able to churn out thoughts is amazing…..in fact a bit disgusting too..especially when all you would want is silence……

Family and friends…..are they the same..do they ever mean the same..how should one perceive either of these categories? You think of it…you get thousand explanations, rationale..and logic..but at the end of it all what counts is what you believe in….neednt be the same as what others think….but so long as you have the ocnviction to back up ur feelings…that’s about all one can ask for…..well..how different are friends by the way? Only thought which comes to my mind is..that they are not related to me either chromosomally or sexually…..but other than that? I respect them the same way I would a family member of mine…give them the same importance….what if you have to decide between either of them at a time of crisis? Well, that would be based on the merit of the need. Holy cow….that is cold blooded pig headed objectivity. So be it. But may be not….maybe, I will lean more towards my family (??) cz I know that my friend will understand my predicament. You mean to say your family doesn’t understand ur predicament? Well not like that, its just that the current psyche of the ‘normal’ family is to take t for granted that come what may – family comes first. I don’t blame it one bit at all. Maybe when I grow up..have a family of my own..i will try my best not to be like this…if I have to take anyone for granted…let it be everyone…if my child ha to decide between A or B let it always be based on merit and not on social obligations…..AMEN

Why are you so indifferent? Coz I don’t care? Oh really??? Well not exactly…then why the hell? Hmmm…..does it really matter? What if I say it matters to me…..Oh good….is it a feeling of insecurity? Bull shit…..then whaat? Don’t you ever love anyone well enough to feel for them? To empathise? That I do..you never help out…..why should i? I mean….i believe a plant grows strong and survives when it fights it out amidst the bushes, trees and shrubbery…not when it is planted in a pot and cared for day in and day out…..cut the crap will you? Just because your thoughts are different than mine..dont insult my thinking…..ohh so you do care eh? Where goes your indifference? Dammit….you first crown me as being indifferent when I am not..and you then accuse me of not being indifferent…this is the limit…..oh really? I have nothing to say….when did u ever have anything to say?

To cry, to laugh, to feel, to be….this is what I wanna be….far from the maddening crowd did I go..only to find that the madness shadowed me…then I realized……the reason for the insanity….and then I became sane J

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Books that have made a positive impact on me….

Doctors, Class, Acts of Faith & Love Story – Erich Segal – Doctors and Class are my most favorite coz I could not only relate myself to the story but could also see a lot of my friends in that book. The way Segal goes about sketching out the characters is wonderful. Barney, Laura, Bennet, Elliot, Jason (am not sure if I got the name right/the guy in the Class who goes on to join Israel defense)……..they just stay on your memory forever.

Treasure Island, Three Musketeer, Count of Monte Cristo, Huckleberry Finn, Tom Sawyer, Heidi, Adventures of Robin Hood – these books are ideal for a lazy day in a cozy couch drinking hot tea/coffee with an overcast amience…Such ambience makes the story grow on you….especially when you are young and in your schools. Long John Silver, Athos, Little John – these are my favorites.

Then comes Atlas Shrugged, Fountainhead, Anthem, Siddartha – these have their own way of revving you up. Roark, D’Anconia, the irresistible Galt, the carefree Dannerskjold, Rearden, Wynand – you can see the strength in their characters that comes over and above any flaw they might have. These books…you should read, digest and read it again….on and on….

To Kill A Mockingbird, Brothers Karamazov, Painted House, Roots, Guide – these????..well ou know the type of books…you read…it moves on…slowly steadily…and at the end of it..you come out satisfied..sometimes with a lump in your throat....Alyosha, Finch, Kintah Kunte…..they stand out….

Cloud Atlas…for the way it engrosses you….Godfather – wonderful story…perhaps one book which on reading you can actually feel the emotion and the cold bloodedness….

And if you are a uzhavar sandhai hater..Companero, Palestine, Confessions of an economic hit man, fateful triangle, the roaring nineties, globalization and its discontent….excepting the first book, in others the author would have clinically put forth the facts….

Other good non fictions…Oh Jerusalem, Power, autobiography of LeeIacocca…….

Friday, July 13, 2007

Crappiest..........

Vetti payale…vetti payale…seidhi keladaaa….naa ezhudha pogum blogugal elaam….unmai dhaan adaa unmai dhaan adaa…….

Collegukku pona pinnu…raggingu panrenunnu…..moondru ezhuthu ketta vaarthai solla sonaanga….naa sonna pinne…mayakam pottu vizhundhu putaanga…avanga vizhundhu putaanga……

Vetti payale…vetti payale…seidhi keladaaa….

Krishnaroda geethopadesam venumna paduchu putu…manasu kula vechirundhe….nenachu paakanum….adhai vittu putu enkitte discuss paninaa…avasthai padanum…neeyum avasthai padanum…….

Vetti payale…vetti payale…seidhi keladaaa….

Avani avittam vandhaa…kovilukku kootindu poi….poonala maathudaa nu solirundhaanga…aachaaramaa nadanthukanumnu solla senjaanga……

Vetti velai senjaalum…kovilukku pomaaten….naan nallavannu enikkum nee nambi vidaathey…….naan unnai yemaathintten nu ninaithu nee vembi vidaathey..nee vembi vidaathey……

Vetti payale…vetti payale…seidhi keladaaa….

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Confessions of a raving lunatic…..

If there is one thing I ask for in my life…it is this…..let me have the strength to always walk THAT extra yard…let me give up only for the heck of it..not because I cant do it…..i know I cant always decide the what is to happen t o me…but I can always decide how to act….AND react….with that in my control…I shall conquer this world….my heart shall blow the conch shell of victory…and my brain shall lead me victorious…my eyes are not directed below..but beyond the horizon…what I see is not what I am faced with…what I see is what I set myself to achieve….

Peter vittadhu podhum da….naaye…..Hmmmpph….that was one heavy load of loose ended….verbose…..mother hoodly bull shit…..lets get over it……

You know what….i love walking a lot…..in fact I walk miles together…and love each and every step I take…..many of my friends have been my unfortunate companions…forced into this type of salt satyagraha….(salt coming out of our sweat u see)…..often…I walk alone….just for the heck of it…..first few kms is ok….then???? then you feel that throbbing in ur shin……appaala? Still you continue…..it is followed by tightening of ur calf…..aparom? then you legs get rubbery….and then..you catch the bus..and return to our abode……ippo edhukku idhu laam solre? Vera vellai ille adhu naala dhaan…..

Arre yaar…..bakchodhi bandh bi kar saale……

Ok fine…let me give share a secret to you…whenever you come across people…who are adept at speaking volumes and volumes..without meaning anything of significance….you can be assured that more often than not..they come from the same breed of post graduate institution as me….yes..there are exceptions to the rule….but still…..ok…what other features characterizes this species??? Quantifying any and every damn thing…losing out on the subjectivity part…more importantly on the natural and aesthetic part of life…being as vague as one can be…..wearing the cloak of ‘thinking through a problem’ and presenting ‘both sides of the coin’ while in reality they are pissing in their pants not knowing what to do….forgetting the true import of the native saying ‘vandhaa malai…pona masuru’ …..and ya….gut feel is generally superseded by analysis (correlation, STP, optimization….)…the result???? Majority of the entrepreneurs and highly successful heads of company are people from simple (or no) educational background…and THIS species is always there giving PPTs…..

OK..have you got THAT shit outta your basement yet????

Lines I love……unmaiyya sonaa shanmugakeerthanam…..I swear by my life and my love of it…I shall not live for the sake of any man nor ask anyone to live for mine….conversations I love….between roark and the dean in fountain head….between siddartha and gottama in siddartha….between kamal and sivaji in devar magan…..

oru kadha sollu da…..oru ooru la madhu nu oru kennaiyan irundhaana….haiiiii comedy storyaaa?....aamaam!!!oorey kai thatti sirichudhu…..

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Simple pleasures in life…..


Having your father cajoling you and waking you up…..sipping a hot mug of coffee along with ur parents early in the morning……experiencing the mannvaasanai as soon as the first rain pours……wearing a cloth that is still warm from the baking sun…..cycling uphill and all of a sudden rattling down hill…..eating sookha rotis with hot dhal……watching a baby sleep…..the relief you get just after you cry your heart out….sitting with you back against your dad’s legs (while he is on a easy-chair)….being with somebody with whom you don’t need to speak..and yet you feel fulfilled….the whiff of salted air just as you are nearing the beach….laughing heartily without inhibition and infectiously…a call from your loved ones….when you most expect it….givin tight hug – a jaadhoo ki jhappi….to ur friends….watching sportsmen ‘who just cannot give up’ play….getting a hand written letter…..the smell of burnt crackers early in the morning of diwali….eating ripe an full mango…..moar saadham with pachchai vengaayam…..getting fully drenched in rain….singing hoarsely much to other’s inconvenience J , being able to sleep as soon as you lie down….sleeping for just that 5 min between two snoozes in ur alarm clock....

Monday, July 9, 2007

Its time for thanksgiving.......

So what do u do when u reach home early from office, got nothing to do….you are not in a position to be spending the evening and night speaking sweet nothings to ur loved one…..and are bored to death???????????????? U WRITE A BLOG………all in the hope that there is some one……somewhere….who is in a more pitiable state than you and HAS to read whatever crap you put forth……….

‘pullaiyaar suzhi potaachaaa? Seri…ippo matterku varalaam’

You come across different type of people in this world….and more often than not..looking back…you are happy to have been with them…to have learnt something from them…..

Today I am gonna subject the readers to a wonderful friend…..who has always been a source of strength for me….who has been with me through my toughest time….and who has made me never settle for nething but the best……

I always had this habit of juxtaposing my friends with some characters straight out of a movie or a novel…..and whenever I think of her….the person who first comes to my mind is Laura Castellano….why so???? Dunno exactly…..maybe because of the comfort level I have with her….maybe because of the platonic relation I share with her…or maybe because I had ran out of any more decent characters…..

You know….the closest to you are the ones to whom you don’t need to explain yourself….you don’t need to express yourself…..all you need to do…is …..just to be…….and she was one of the very few people with whom I could just…..be…

What’s so special about her? Have never analyzed that…never will…..analyzing feelings and thoughts constrains the human understanding within the four walls of human wisdom. I dont need that….i don’t want that….

I believe relations are to be experienced…..these are like painting on a limitless canvas….you go about adding a line here…a streak there….always giving yourself and your friends the opportunity to explore….to learn..to understand…and at the end of it all….you can sense the pattern developing in the big canvas…..

‘seri…ippo ennaaangarey? Romba penaathindrukey?’

Hmm…so back to Laura….one of the very few people whom I have respected right from the moment I have seen her…..she had loads of ability…..was ambitious….was unafraid to try new things..and was always up for a challenge…..and I must say…that the day I first met her…..i got mightily raped….ahem….by her brilliance…and by the scathing tongue of my English teacher…..this Laura…was also fundoo…infact the fundooest in my class…. in aangila mozhi…..

Probably the bestest thing I liked in her..and learnt from her..was – dreams have to be backed by action….with her….i started dreaming…with her..i started believing in my dreams…and..i started achieving them too…and all the while she was there goading me….competing with me….stretching me to my limits….and never being satisfied with whatever I did….coz she always felt I could do more….

In a way…we were complementary…..me a lazy bum…and she a perennially active person….me..with a galeej tongue..and she…a very sophisticated one….me always gruff and moody….she always chirpy….me..thinking I will do something….and she…doing THAT very thing….me..a Barney….and she….a Laura…

No need for expressing....no need for explaining...all you need to do is just....BE

‘tentu kottaai la elaaru padam paathaachaaa? Ippo apadiye apeet aaikonga paarkalaam……’

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Ek Choti Si Love Story

Run of the mill ones…..’I was in my school..there was this cute teacher…who used to be so sweet…..and beautiful…..and nice…..and I think she always had a soft corner for me’….well that is crap#1 ‘there was this neighbor of mine..who used to steal glances at me…. Knew she had something in mind..and was waiting or me to make the move’……crap#2

If we were to list in detail all the crushes that one has had…it would make a cart load full of bull shit. But then..that is what crush is all about…..you close ur eyes….and think…that…all is rosy around you…..you have the girl of ur dreams (women in some cases)….U r in her dream….and you live happily…AND then straight out of the blue…comes a knock….from whatever is left of the functional brain in you…..which says…’mawune dei..kanavu kandadhu podhum….asadu vazhiyaradha konjam nirithuttu…..ozhunga vellaiya paakara vazhiya paaru’

Crush is to an extent fine…it is easy to come out of it… …at the end of it all…when we think back about it….one is always in a position to share a laugh or two amidst embarrassment.

And so with this introduction lemme…prepare my own load of bull shit…..

It started way back when I was in school…..i must thank my sister a lot..coz one of my earliest crushes was her classmate……and that set the tone for most of my future crushes…..which always had me gawking at them…..and getting myself in such a twisted condition….that anyone could see the ‘jollu kottra moonji’ a thousand miles away…..then there was one in my tennis class…and then one….in my drama group….and then one…well…quite a few..in my college…..near my house……near the local temple……

This later matured into….a more sedate type of crush…..no more gawking..no more asadu vazhinjings….a very quite demeanor…trying to be as nice as possible..so that atleast you wont be avoided by your ‘crush’…….but then the inevitable always happened…’indha mara mandai ku innum puriya maatengaradhey…..’

Fir kya hua?????? Fir…………fir raveenaa aaayiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii………….

Heard this somewhere? Well munna bhai it is….

And my story is the same too……one gone…one came…..this bloody mind…if ever it was good at something, it was on focusing and refocusing on things which didn’t require any attention at all…….

‘Dei…ava ennaiye paakara da’…….’right…una maadhiri kennai laam kooda indha ulagathula irukaala nu paakara’…..‘dei….whenever I go to cycling…she is always there….’ – ‘machaan….it the other way round da….nee naal muzhukka…..road la dhaan irukka…..ava illenaa vera yaaraavhadhu irundhirupa…..appo kooda nee idhey dialogue dhaan adichiruppe….’

And THEN the nirvana comes….NO..i am not talking of any of ur crush working out……I am talking about U realizing that ur ‘crushy’ feelings are superficial the moment you feel them….and then….the girls are saved……from ur gaucheness